Brittle

my bones are staring to scare me. i feel like they too are getting smaller. the smallest bumps of random things in life getting in my way often hurt so back i think i could have actually broke something, why the fuck then do i continue to stay here? because its better then getting bigger. anything is better than getting bigger. in fact i need to get a bit smaller, just to ensure i dont get bigger, and just in case i do, itll be easier to redeem myself………. goodbye i go die in hole now :D


i hate when i get too big and its everything i can do to get small. then its like holy shit i am not in a very stable condition right now…………aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the cycle never ends. except nowaways i have managed to rein all this in within a few pounds.
i dont want to die exactly: just like, go to sleep in a coma and not wake up for i am not sure how long. i am so tired of being me, this disgraceful disappointment only grows older and older
my body absolutely does not heal like it used to.

(Source: bambidolls-teardrops)

sinolia:

Yves Saint Laurent during the Paris Fashion Week Spring 2010
ive been the same weight 3 days in a row. what the fuck. i want to fucking die. apparently doing whatever i can is still not enough, and must conjure more will and strength.. yay